A central piece of the therapy process is to collaboratively explore clients’ therapy goals. They may be short-term or long-term goals. They may be totally realistic or they may be goals that a therapist may need to gently help rework a little bit! Often, we’ll start with some short-term therapy goals that allow clients to feel a bit of relief from any symptoms or struggles that are getting in the way of day-to-day life. Once there’s a sense of mastery over smaller goals that were achieved, we can start to tackle some of the bigger and trickier therapy goals.
Although client therapy goals are the focus in therapy sessions, many therapists have their own goals too! No matter how many years we’ve been in the field, we are always growing and learning. Whether you are a therapist or a therapy client, I hope you find this post helpful. In this post, I will share some goals that I came up with when I started my own private practice.
My therapy goals:
#1 – Slow down!
It’s not a sprint to the finish line. Even if both therapist and client had endless energy to keep up a fast pace, it’s not helpful to either of us to try to race to the “end”. Rushing through the process can lead to feelings of frustration for not being able to achieve what we had hoped. It could also lead to doing work that requires a high level of trust and comfort before we have had the time to build up the therapeutic alliance to support that work.
#2 – Use flexibility.
Not everything needs to be structured or planned ahead of time. Therapists need to leave room to go where the client needs to go. Sometimes taking those detours actually lead us to some really surprising and/or fruitful information!
#3 – Be less didactic.
I want to remind myself frequently that I don’t have all the answers. Each client is the expert of their own experience. I’m their therapist, not their professor.
#4 – Use less jargon.
Like, oh, I don’t know, “didactic” maybe!
#5 – Face discomfort.
Sometimes therapists won’t mention something because it seems “rude”, but it’s actually really important to speak up. Firstly, we can model this skill for clients, who often have the same “people-pleasing” instinct. Secondly, we need to help clients make the most of their time in therapy. Most importantly, it’s our job, especially since the therapeutic relationship can mirror clients’ other relationships! If we notice something that gives us a huge clue as to what might be happening for the client, we can find a way to compassionately and kindly bring that to their attention.
#6 – Set aside being liked.
This is a goal that we can share! I need to be able to challenge clients sometimes. They need to be able to tell me if something I’m doing is unhelpful to our work (or worst, really not comfortable!). So we have a choice… Do we sit there for an hour worrying about being perceived as “nice”? Do we just agree with everything each other says? Or can we do the hard work of being honest when we need to while still being respectful and kind?
#7 – Prevent burnout.
This one is another goal that can be useful for both therapists and clients! Everyone is best served when we maintain good boundaries and routines. This might mean leaving enough time/energy for planned activities (like fitness or other self-care commitments), even if that means we aren’t able to match our schedules together to squeeze in a therapy session that week.
#8 – Be intentional about what tools are used.
We can share this goal too… For clients (and off-duty therapists!), this might mean choosing what skills to use at any given moment. Maybe we feel able to “sit with” uncomfortable thoughts and we’ll choose the “acceptance” skill. We might feel able to interact with those thoughts and choose a “reframe” technique. Or, it might be ones of those days where we just need to get some space from those thoughts and we’ll choose a “behavioural activation” option instead.
From the therapist point-of-view, this goal refers to choices made for in-session use of tools and skills. For example, if I sense that using self-disclosure will enhance our therapeutic alliance, I might share what emotion is coming up in the moment. I might use some humor to drive home a point or enhance a metaphor. If I sense you’re not sure what to do or say next, I might be more directive and suggest a topic to discuss or experiential exercise to try.
#9 – Set aside agendas.
Now that you’ve read these therapy goals, you might be able to guess that I try my best not to be “bossy” (and don’t always succeed)! That’s why I’ve set a goal to remember that clients need to decide what will work for them and at what pace. I can relate very strongly to the concept of the “righting reflex” in Motivational Interviewing (MI) and feel tempted to jump in and fix things. Instead, I need to allow clients to have those lovely “Aha!” moments that come when they’ve done the work and have realized something about themselves that open up new possibilities. These work a million times better than if a therapist were to try to explain it.
#10 – Keep the eager and curious excitement.
This goal is linked to goal #7 (avoid burnout). Burnout is the opposite of maintaining some of the excitement and energy that I brought into this field. If I can start each week looking forward to connecting with my clients, I’ll consider that a good indicator of how I’m doing on these goals.
Of course, none of these therapy goals are something I can ever check off and consider “done”. They are the type of goals that need to be committed to every hour and every day. I look forward to doing my best to meet them as I support clients in exploring their own therapy goals.
If you live in Ottawa Ontario and are interested in exploring your own therapy goals, please check out our About page to find out more about Connect to Calm, our therapists’ availability, and whether we might be a good fit for you!