What’s your therapy style? Talk or skills or both?

by Kris Cormier (MSW, RSW), therapist & owner of Connect to Calm Therapy

Have you run into the idea that therapy is only a “Client talks, therapists listen” type thing? I’m going to bust the myth that this is always the case by describing about what my own therapy style is like and how I combine talk with learning practical skills. It doesn’t have to be a choice of talk or skills, it can be both!

Talking about your life is certainly a key part of therapy work, especially early on when we need to get to know each other. And sometimes you just need to vent and talk about something that’s been bugging you lately! But I’ve heard from some clients that they feel talking is all they do. They spend a lot of time venting to their therapist, and nothing changes. It can be extremely healing and nourishing to have someone wholeheartedly listen to you talk and this is a central piece of the therapeutic relationship. At the same time, I believe it’s important to balance that time spent talking with time spent actively learning skills so that you can move forward towards the kind of life you want to live.

What does this therapy style look like?

We may talk about your values, make plans about how to face specific challenges, and come up with some goals (short-term and long-term). There are exercises and skills we can spent time on together – I’ll aim to teach you at least one little skill or exercise each time we connect. That way you can build your toolkit, whether you already have a bunch of skills in it or not. Trying out some of these skills might feel like stepping out of your comfort zone a bit – it’ll always your choice if you want to try them. There will also be some steps to take outside of therapy like reading handouts, completing worksheets, or practicing your new skills!

Is this therapy style directive? Is it structured? Collaborative?

Sometimes, when therapy styles include more action-oriented or skills-based pieces (like CBT, DBT, or ACT), the therapist might be more directive and/or structured.

I do find that my style is more directive (without being “bossy”!) but have also found that I can change my directiveness depending on the client. Directiveness isn’t necessarily a negative style of therapy – I’ve learned that some clients even prefer it.

I also tend to be a little more structured than some therapists might be but there’s always space for you to make any adjustments. I really appreciate feedback of all types so I can make sure we’re on the right track for you. I’ll adjust my style according to what you prefer…

After all, I’m in the passenger seat on your therapy journey. You decide where we’re headed – I just happen to have some maps and good snacks! Sometimes, I’ve even travelled a similar route before in my own life.

My therapy style is extremely collaborative – we’ll both bring unique skills and knowledge to this work. Sure, I may have learned a bunch of skills in my training, but you have a ton of knowledge about your life and what works for you.

I look forward to going on this journey with you…

What do you think?

Does this style sound like something that fits what you want your therapy journey to look like? If so, please get in touch to book a free Meet-and-Greet session by phone or video! Even if there’s currently no space for new clients, you can choose to be added to the waitlist or receive a referral to any one of a number of therapists with similar approaches.